Tue, May 21, 2013

    Columns

    • What I've Learned

      Jan 24, 2013 12:00 am

      I used to be a three-pass shaver, first moving the razor downward, lather again and shave sideways, lather again and shave upward, resulting in as clean and close a shave possible.

      This was my morning routine for many years, particularly when in the Army. In the early 1990s, after the Army, I became a two-pass shaver – down, then up.

    • What I've Learned

      Jan 17, 2013 12:00 am

      A male lion is a brawler. If he is the dominant male, he fights other males who challenge him for the position. If he is not the dominant male, he fights to work his way up.

      His main weapons, of course, are claws and jaws.

      Lions, which can weigh as much as 500 pounds, tend to stand on three legs and strike with one paw, aiming at the opponent's face and neck. It looks like slap boxing, but the slaps are actually slashes with claws that are four inches long and brutally sharp.

    • Main Street Matters

      Jan 17, 2013 12:00 am

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    • What I've Learned

      Jan 10, 2013 12:00 am

      If you ask me to read your writing and give an opinion, I'll lie to you. I'll even point out specific passages to lie about.

      "How you described Howard's reaction to the death of the puppy was perfect.

      "You wrote, 'He cried and cried and cried intently, tears – large tears! – spilling from his sad eyes and running in torrents down his young cheeks like rain drops in rivulets down a window pane on a stormy summer's evening.'

      "Good job. Very good job. It was clear how upset Howard was."

    • What I've Learned

      Jan 03, 2013 12:00 am

      It is a tradition in our house that every Christmas vacation my wife, kids, and I gather around the piano and sing songs from Les Misérables. Now the kids are grown and married and their spouses join us in the tradition.

      We first became familiar with the musical in the late 1990s when I checked out the 10th Anniversary Concert video from the Paris Public Library. As the family settled down to watch, my daughter, Sofrona, then a young teenager, asked, "What is this about?"

    • What I've Learned

      Dec 27, 2012 12:00 am

      Three days a week, my wife and I eat steel cut oats for breakfast and vegetable soup for lunch. These six meals take maybe 20 minutes to prepare, not counting the minute or so to heat before serving.

      The oats require almost no time to prepare. First, I spray the crock pot with cooking spray. Next, I dump in two cups of steel cut oats, a half teaspoon of salt (can be omitted), and six cups of water. I turn the crock pot on low and leave it for two and a half hours. If you use old fashioned rolled oats, experiment with the water and cooking time.

    • What I've Learned

      Dec 20, 2012 12:00 am

      I'm glad this week's edition of the Advertiser comes out on December 20th, for it gives me one last opportunity to mock the notion that the world is going to end on the 21st.

      In May of 2010, I wrote a column debunking the idea that the ancient Maya predicted doom for us all. And then in August and September of last year, I wrote three more columns demolishing some of the top reasons "experts" give for December 21, 2012 being the last day for life on earth.

    • Wait, what? Paint the County Purple contest winner

      Dec 20, 2012 12:00 am

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    • What I've Learned

      Dec 13, 2012 12:00 am

      In the late 1970s, I was hit by a car. The impact broke my leg, separated my knee, and scrambled my brains.

      My brains are still a bit scrambled, but my leg and knee both healed nicely, thanks to some excellent surgical work.

      A year after the accident, I joined the Army and served for 10 years. Each of those years, I ran three to five miles a day, six days a week, totaling more than a thousand miles a year. My injuries gave me not an ounce of trouble.

    • What I've Learned

      Dec 06, 2012 12:00 am

      Back in 2009, I wrote several columns documenting my experiments with no-knead bread. The method involved mixing flour, yeast, salt, sugar, powdered milk, oil, and water, then instead of kneading the resulting dough, simply setting it aside for five or six hours, letting time bring out the gluten.

      I also wrote about baking no-knead bread in a slow cooker.

      Since then – not because of my columns – baking bread in a slow cooker has become popular, as has no-knead bread.

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