A lack of Christmas spirit? Or a lack of understanding?

To the Editor:

On this past Saturday, December 28, my friend and I took our children on the 5:15 p.m. ride of the Polar Express in Portland. We came out of the parking garage in wonderful spirits. My friend's daughter in her arms, her son holding her hand, and my daughter skipping as her hand was in mine, headed to the train stop.

And then the pictures began. This made my daughter a little upset, but I thought she would be fine. We had to wait a bit before we boarded the train. Something that makes her uncomfortable, standing in line. And when the crowd got bigger, it upset her a bit more.

When we were able to board the train, she was all right for a while. Until the car was filled. She was then overwhelmed with the amount of people in such a small place. I figured I would give her a few minutes to see if she would adjust, so that she would be able to experience something that other children do. I tried everything I could to calm her down.

Meanwhile, seated virtually right next to me, there was a woman (who appeared to be there with her boyfriend/husband only, no children) who decided that it would be a good thing to gripe about our situation. She was actually quite rude in her remarks, and yes, it hurt my feelings. Well, not mine so much actually, as it bothered me how someone could be so judgmental towards a child.

You see, my daughter is Autistic. So she has some issues dealing with certain situations. However, I still want her to have a childhood, just like any other. So I try everything with her that I can. Some things work better than others. Just because she is "different" does not mean that she's excluded from living her life.

One of the men that helped us board the train seemed to have no issue with my daughter's restlessness. Another, still standing outside as we got back off of the train, was even kind enough to ask if she was all right. So, I thought to myself, how could this woman be so cruel? So quick to judge?

Needless to say, we didn't take the train ride after all. We rode around looking at Christmas lights instead while we waited for our friends to come back. Not a loss for us as I saw it. We tried, and it didn't work. At least we tried. That's more than most parents do for their children nowadays anyhow.

So, in conclusion of this letter, I would like to thank my friend and her two children, who understood my daughter's situation, and showed her no less respect. Even bringing her back her own bell from the North Pole, and a cookie. They made our night.

To Porttix.com, who I e-mailed prior to the purchase of our tickets. They gave me wonderful information about the event that helped me make my decision on whether it was a good idea for her or not.

I would also like to say thank you to the two men who offered kindness and understanding, even if only in fleeting moments.

To the rude woman on the train. I suggest that you gain a little Christmas spirit, a bit of class, and a heaping helping of tact. You, who were so quick to pass judgment and open your knowledgeable mouth, had no idea about the situation "behind the scenes." In living the rest of your (in your eyes) perfect life, I hope you learn to realize that the differences that people live with are a part of their perfect life.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I am just tired of the constant judgment of my daughter by people who are not knowing.

Ashley Berard

Hebron