The Touris (Columbia pictures)

Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie have a lot in common. They’re two of the most beautiful actors working in Hollywood; they’re happily married with children of their own, and had their own diverse range of performances. When you put these two actors in a movie like The Tourist, what could possibly go wrong?

Depp stars as Frank Tupelo, a math teacher from Wisconsin on his way to Venice, Italy after dealing with the death of his wife three years earlier. While arriving by train, he meets a beautiful stranger named Elise Clifton-Ward (played by Jolie) whom Frank decides to stay with at a lavishing Venice hotel. But then he finds himself on the run from both the authorities and gangsters.

It turns out Frank is believed to be Alexander Pierce, Elise’s lover who has stolen over $2 Billion from the mob. Frank tries to evade his arrest from Scotland Yard, but has to turn to Elise for help. Scotland Yard’s Inspector Acheson (played by Paul Bettany) has been following the Pierce case for two years and is close to solving it.

The trailers were pretty manipulative, because this film was promoted as an action thriller when the film itself doesn’t know what it’s trying to be. Part of it feels like a spy thriller, but then part of it feels like a comedy spoof of the genre. There’s so much unintentional comedy in this movie that the laughs ruined the film trying to be serious. The script is to blame for this mess along with some poor direction. It contains so many plot holes; you need some bubble gum to plug them up. Were the writers too lazy to explain the whole plot properly?

Depp and Jolie both look great in the movie and that’s the most positive thing to say. They appear to be cast based solely on looks alone. Their characters simply don't convey enough of the chemistry required by the script. Another thing that makes this movie look bad is that it feels like a two-hour vacation commercial for Venice. I’ve seen better movies that make the location as intricate as the plot like Moonraker and Casino Royale. The only difference is that the James Bond films are entertaining, but The Tourist isn’t.

It’s still interesting to watch if you’re a big fan of Depp and/or Jolie, but it’s not enough to give this movie a recommendation. Depp has starred in better movies including Alice in Wonderland earlier this year. 2011 will be his busiest year ever promoting upcoming films including the CG-animated Rango, the Hunter S. Thompson novel The Rum Diary, and his long-awaited return as Jack Sparrow in Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger’s Tide. Plus, he’s in talks to reunite with director Tim Burton for their eighth collaboration on Dark Shadows based on the popular soap opera series from the 1960s.

THE MOVIE’S RATING: PG-13 (for violence and brief strong language)

THE CRITIC’S RATING: 1.5 Stars (Out of Four)